Praise be to Allah, and may peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah.
The righteousness and corruption of children are both within the decree of Allah, but parents are commanded to take the means of education, guidance, and reform. Whoever fulfills his duty and raises his children well, yet some of them do not become upright, has been tested, and this by itself does not indicate that he was negligent. As for one who neglects his children and fails in raising them, he has neglected a trust that Allah has commanded him to fulfill, and the fact that the righteousness and guidance of children are in Allah’s hands does not absolve him of responsibility.
Belief in divine decree, both its good and its difficult aspects, is one of the foundations of faith.
In the well-known Hadith of Jibril, the Prophet ﷺ explained faith by saying:
“That you believe in Allah, His angels, His Books, His messengers, the Last Day, and that you believe in divine decree, both its good and its bad.” Narrated by Muslim (8).
The condition of children—whether righteous or corrupt—is among the matters included in Allah’s decree, and whatever Allah has decreed must occur.
However, belief in divine decree does not mean abandoning the means. Rather, Allah has commanded parents to fulfill their duties of upbringing, care, and guidance.
Parents are required to teach their children what is good, command them to obey Allah, and protect them from the causes of deviation and sin.
Allah تعالى says:
“And warn your closest relatives.” [Ash-Shu‘ara’ 26:214]
And He says:
“And command your family to pray and be steadfast in maintaining it. We do not ask you for provision; We provide for you. And the good outcome is for righteousness.” [Ta-Ha 20:132]
Whoever does his utmost to raise his children, teaches them prayer and obedience, and takes the means that help them remain upright will be rewarded for fulfilling what Allah has obligated upon him, whether the results appear quickly or take time.
As for one who neglects his children, becomes preoccupied with other matters, and fails to teach and guide them—even if he is busy calling others to Allah and teaching people—he has failed regarding the trust that Allah placed in his care, because his household has the greatest right to his care and instruction.
If a parent neglects his duty and then sees the effects of that neglect in his children, he cannot use divine decree as an excuse to free himself from responsibility.
If parents do what they are able to do in raising and reforming their children, and then the child chooses another path, this does not necessarily indicate that the parents were negligent.
Rather, this may be a trial from Allah, and something similar occurred with some of the best of Allah’s creation: the prophets and messengers.
Among them was the son of Nuh (Noah), peace be upon him. His father was one of the great prophets, yet his son did not believe.
Likewise, the wives of Nuh and Lut (Lot), peace be upon them, were not believers. Allah تعالى says:
“Allah sets forth an example for those who disbelieve: the wife of Noah and the wife of Lot. They were married to two of Our righteous servants, but they betrayed them, so they did not benefit them against Allah at all, and it was said: ‘Enter the Fire along with those who enter.’” [At-Tahrim 66:10]
Likewise, Abu Talib was not granted Islam, despite his closeness to the Prophet ﷺ and his support of him.
This demonstrates that the guidance of hearts and being granted success in faith are in the hands of Allah.
Allah تعالى says:
“Indeed, you cannot guide whom you love, but Allah guides whom He wills, and He knows best those who are rightly guided.” [Al-Qasas 28:56]
If a person sees that the child of a scholar, caller to Allah, or reformer is not upright, he should not hasten to accuse the father of neglecting his upbringing, because this is a form of سوء الظن (negative suspicion).
The parent may have done his best and fulfilled what he was capable of doing, yet Allah may not have decreed guidance for the child at that stage.
Conversely, one may see righteous children among parents who are negligent, and this is a favor from Allah that He grants to whom He wills.
Allah تعالى says:
“And your Lord creates whatever He wills and chooses; they have no choice in the matter. Glory be to Allah, and Exalted is He above what they associate with Him.” [Al-Qasas 28:68]
Therefore, a child’s righteousness is not always proof of perfect parenting, just as a child’s corruption is not, by itself, proof of poor parenting.
Alongside taking the means of proper upbringing, parents should not neglect one of the greatest means: turning to Allah and asking Him to grant their children guidance and righteousness.
Allah تعالى says concerning the supplication of the servants of the Most Merciful:
“And those who say, ‘Our Lord, grant us from our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes, and make us an example for the righteous.’” [Al-Furqan 25:74]
And He says concerning the supplication of Zakariyya (Zechariah), peace be upon him:
“There he supplicated to his Lord, saying, ‘My Lord, grant me from Yourself righteous offspring. Indeed, You are the Hearer of supplication.’” [Aal ‘Imran 3:38]
And Allah تعالى says regarding the supplication of the righteous believer:
“My Lord, enable me to be grateful for Your favor which You have bestowed upon me and upon my parents, and to do righteousness that pleases You, and make my offspring righteous for me. Indeed, I have repented to You, and indeed I am among the Muslims.” [Al-Ahqaf 46:15]
The righteousness and corruption of children are part of Allah’s decree, while parents are commanded to take the means of upbringing, reform, and supplication.
Whoever neglects the upbringing of his children and then sees them go astray may bear the sin of his negligence. But whoever strives, does what is right, and takes the necessary means, then one of his children does not become upright, should not be accused of negligence merely because of that; what happened may instead be a trial for him.
Likewise, the righteousness of children whose parents are negligent is a favor from Allah. It does not mean that negligence in raising children is permissible or that abandoning the proper means is correct.
The duty, therefore, is to take the means, seek Allah’s help, supplicate, and remain patient with what Allah has decreed, while being certain that the guidance of hearts is in the hands of Allah.
We ask Allah to rectify our offspring and families, make them a source of joy for us, and grant us success in raising them well.
And Allah knows best.